NUMB tells the powerful story of transformation from abandonment and institutional trauma to international success, structured as both compelling narrative and practical resource for others facing similar challenges. The book contains three essential parts:
Part One chronicles Danny’s abandonment on a London street at 15 months, life in children's homes and foster care, and the brutal boarding school experiences of the 1970s that led to near-suicide.
Part Two provides retrospective insights, exploring his later life through a paradoxical blend of hurt and healing, fear and freedom.
Part Three serves as both goldmine and arsenal, to help us navigate our way through the relentless, savage complexities of life and the paradoxical reality of being overwhelmed with feeling – yet totally numb.
NUMB by Danny Scott
I don’t pretend to understand the depth of mystery
of the human heart and mind,
Nor to comprehend the apparent random seasons of adversity and joy.
I don’t pretend to have even the most tenuous grasp of what it means to be fully gracious and forgiving
To effortlessly own a selfless humility forged in the glowing furnace embers of constant refining and purification.
I don’t pretend to have completely tamed the beast of fierce rage and indignation deliberately aimed at an undeniably unjust world,
Nor to have obtained equilibrium on the proverbial tightrope of righteous anger on one side – and the haemorrhaging of my own personal self-pity on the other
I don’t pretend to stand blameless as I swim against the tide
of ignorant prejudiced opinion
Toward a shore and a destination that prophetically bears my name.
I don’t pretend to have exorcized all the demons
of a torn and troubled youth
Or to have made peace with the so called ‘care profession’ that so desperately failed my birth mother and so, so many others since,
Discarding them and dancing with indignity upon their memory
I don’t pretend to want an easy ‘join the dots’ life
Where my future is mapped out before me in a simple, grotesque ‘just add water’ mix formula - within a land of false harmony
Where there is no conflict or struggle – no wrestling to grow into the fullness of who my Papa-God has called me to be
I don’t pretend to worry about tomorrow -
because I don’t worry about tomorrow!
I don’t pretend to doubt that I am deeply loved by my God –
because I don’t doubt that I am deeply loved by my God
I don’t pretend that I need other people to tell me who I am – because I don’t need….!
I don’t pretend that I hear that still small voice
every minute of every day
And I don’t pretend that I can walk on water –
because right now, at this present time – I can’t
But that doesn’t mean that I need to give up trying (and learning) -
And I won’t.
I don’t pretend – because I don’t need to pretend.
